Sharonjubilant26 Okay, after being drenched in national politics, I felt the need for some humor: hence the new caption contest and now this.  These are actual headlines from newspapers!

1. Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

2. Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

3. Defendant’s Speech Ends in Long Sentence

4. Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly

5. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

6. Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast

7. Men Recommend More Clubs for Wives

8. Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire

9. William Kelly, 87, Was Fed Secretary

10. Milk Drinkers Are Turning to Powder

11. Half-Million Italian Women Seen On Pill

12. Safety Expert Says School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

13. Scientists to Have Ford’s Ear

14. S. Florida Illegal Aliens Cut In Half By New Law

15. Farmer Bill Dies In House

16. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

17. Hershey Bars Protest

18. Is There A Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

19. Women’s Movement Called More Broad-Based

20. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

21. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

22. Eye Drops Off Shelf

Posted in

5 responses to “Humorous Headlines”

  1. Wayne Grubaugh Avatar
    Wayne Grubaugh

    This is not really a response/comment to this posting; however, I know how much you admire the Spartans of Greece. I ran across some interesting info on Wikipedia by entering “laconic phrase”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laconic
    Hope you enjoy.

    Like

  2. Brad L. Avatar
    Brad L.

    And in other news, tragedy struck the National Ceiling Fan Convention last night, when the entertainment for the night, Dr. Languine’s trampolining lambs took the stage.
    According to eye witnesses, everything was going great until all of a sudden there was one gigantic leap, and the sheep hit the fan. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thank you, I’ll be here all week, thank you!
    BL.

    Like

  3. Rick Avatar
    Rick

    …ring of debris? Nope. checked in the mirror this morning!

    Like

  4. Ian Avatar

    oh man brad l!!!
    that was so bad i got a face cramp from laughing.

    Like

  5. DaveC Avatar
    DaveC

    Chris,
    Talking about laughing hard, I am a custodian at a church and yesterday as we ended our weekly staff meeting, one member of the staff talked about needing a new carpet in her office and another said that it was in the budget for her to get a new carpet in her office and then the Pastor said that if he ever gets a new carpet in his office he would get new furniture too. Someone asked if he didn’t like the furniture has now or if it was too dark or what. The Pastor replied, “No, I’d get a throne.” I laughed so hard that I threw my head back and hit it on a bookshelf. Now that is a belly laugh. (Not to mention a not too bright act on my part.)
    DaveC

    Like

Leave a comment