Class, character, honor, integrity, discipline, consistency, dependability, selflessness, and servanthood are watchwords for anyone serious about being a leader. The conduct of a leader springs from the character of the leader. In other words, what's inside eventually comes out.
In the area of dealing with people, it is a short-term proposition, at best, and dishonest, at the worst, for anyone to simply learn people skills but disregard a heart change. It's a lot like putting a new dress on an old skeleton, lipstick on a pig, lacquer on a dirt clod, etc. etc. Too many times people misunderstand the true change of heart that accompanies leadership growth for techniques and skills that are simply "on the surface."
Even so, I am still shocked from time to time at the lack of even basic people skills from would-be leaders. Inappropriate tone of voice, quickness to be offended, grudge carrying, pouting, gossiping, being critical of others, arrogance, off-color remarks, negativity, complaining, criticizing, condemning, and the like are all too common from people who should know better. If these symptoms are prevalent, what does that say about what is on the inside? Where there is smoke, there is usually fire. The tree is known by its fruits.
Excellent leaders are very concerned for how they come across in their dealings with others. All the ones I know are sincerely humble, selfless, longsuffering, patient, kind, loving, forgiving, and self-effacing. Their tone of voice is smooth and kind, their eyes are focused and unwavering, their spirit is soft and other-focused, and their priorities are eternal instead of temporal. We would all do well to model this behavior.
But beyond the behavior lies the issues of the heart. Reading good books, studying the scriptures, listening to positive and educational recordings, and attending meetings and conferences all should be used toward the purpose of an ever-growing heart. We should be prayerful for the Holy Spirit to invade our lives and produce a massive heart change within us. We should be mindful of our legacy, the impact we have on each and every person with whom we come into contact, and we should make our every interaction as positive and uplifting as possible. After all, the way we live our life might be the only sermon someone gets to hear.
We can all grow in the area of our behavior towards and with other people. But most importantly, we need to grow on the inside. Our conduct as leaders matters. Right or wrong, people make judgments about a lot of things based on how they see us behave. They make inferences about our family, our upbringing, our faith, our God, our business, and our character based upon what they see us do. As the saying goes, "What you do speaks so loudly what you say I cannot hear."
So go for a heart change. And while you're at it, take the time to treat others with class and respect. The world is watching.
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