Hey Gang:
It's your old buddy, Obstacles!
I know, I know, I've been a little quiet lately. But don't worry, I have been busy at work in the background, conjuring many exciting new ways to make you wimpify. After all, dreams are overrated, business is hard, leadership is for sissies, and your momma dresses you funny, (and I won't even mention her combat boots).
Now, let's get down to the real stuff.
I know how many of you LIFE (what a stupid name for a company, talk about generic, your colors should be black and white like those dorky bargain canned goods at the grocery store) guys are all proud of your Power Player Program. "Scores every time," you say. "As long as it keeps working you'll keep doing it," you say. "It doesn't matter if we tell the whole world what play we are going to run next, it will still work, and we'll still run it," you say. Well, I've got the same kind of program. I call it the Power Wimpifier Program. And I'm so confident of its success, that I too will share it openly with you wimpy little leadership knuckleheads.
Here's how it works. All I have to do is encourage the natural tendency in all of you to wimpify. After all, you know you want to already! For those of you tender types, all I have to do is get someone to hurt your feelings. For you tough types, all I have to do is make sure someone else gets the recognition you think you deserve instead. For you money-lovers, all I have to do is get you to think you aren't getting a big enough bonus check, or at least make you wonder why it was the size that it was. For you fun-seekers, all I have to do is make you think you're bored. For you judgmental types, all I have to do is get you to see more and more of your upline's flaws. For you thinking types, all I have to do is get you to make assumptions about why someone did something and get you to think they did it from impure motives, and even on purpose. For you organized types, all I have to do is get you to feel like everything is a mess. For you detailed types, all I have to do is get you to sit through a presentation by someone who doesn't understand details. For those of you who won't take responsibility, all I have to do is provide you with someone to blame. For those of you who can't prioritize, all I have to do is give you a lot of things to consider all at once. For those of you who can't handle resistance, all I have to do is get someone to give you some objections (my most common and effective are "price," "time," and "status").
Well, you get the idea how the first step in my program works.
The second step is the explanation. You see, you can wimpify freely as long as you can come up with a good explanation that "covers" it. Oh, don't worry. No one else will believe it. But that really doesn't matter when you are in the process of wimpification. You see, all you have to do is get yourself to believe that others are believing it. That's the way out!
Finally, there is the placing of blame squarely on the shoulders of someone else (note: this can be anybody other than yourself).
So here's the program, in summary:
1. Doubt, discouragement, jealousy, greed, ego, etc. causes Wimpification
2. Explanation is concocted to cover said Wimpification
3. Responsibility for lack of results is blamed on someone else
And there you have it. My extremely effective, simple, straight-forward, almost guaranteed program for Un-success.
Just remember, life is short. Don't waste it trying to accomplish something. You deserve so much less!
Obstacles over and out.
And don't think I'm not watching you!
(Wimpify. You know you want to!)
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