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People Don’t Care How Much You Know Until They Know How Much You Care

Congratulations There is a famous saying that, "People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care."  Although we have discussed many things on this blog, such as the need for leaders to learn, to grow, to discipline themselves, to carry heavy burdens, and to serve others, it can never be forgotten that leadership is made up of the substance of caring. 

Many, many leaders throughout history have started well but finished poorly.  Studying their lives, it quickly becomes evident that they lost touch with their roots.  Somehow, in the process of gaining ascendance and advancement, they became corrupted by their power gain.  They became a little too focused on themselves.  Along the way, they forgot who they were and what they were about.  Somewhere on the journey they stopped caring about the cause or the individuals involved and became engulfed by self interest.  One author called this phenomenon becoming "unmoored," as when a sailboat drifts away from its anchorage. 

Caring is an interesting concept.  Of course a leader cares about his or her cause.  Of course a leader cares about the attainment of the vision.  Of course the leader cares about his or her legacy and what is left behind.  But does the leader care about the people?  More importantly, does the leader care about individuals?  And most importantly, does the leader care about you?

Insincerity does not work for those who truly want to lead.  There is no "fake it ’till you make it" in true leadership.  Phonies are easy to spot.  True caring is a heart thing.  It can be felt.  We know that someone cares for us and about us instinctively.  And my experience has been that the biggest leaders are the ones who, along with all the other great traits we’ve been discussing here, can also connect on a heart-level of caring with the people they influence. 

The questions to ask yourself about your leadership are this: do my people know how much I care about them?  Do they know what I respect about them the most?  Have I told them lately or made sure they know this?  Am I actively adding value to their lives?

Let people know that you care.  Play with your heart on your sleeve.  Give yourself to your people as much as you give yourself to your cause, and you’ll see the cause advanced much quicker.  And most importantly, you’ll be loving people all along the journey, which is the point of the journey in the first place!

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2 responses to “People Don’t Care How Much You Know Until They Know How Much You Care”

  1. CRBaker Avatar
    CRBaker

    “People Don’t Care How Much You Know Until They Know How Much You Care”
    Wow! This was a favorite comment of a preacher, Don Mathis, whom I knew twenty years ago, and it worked it’s way into a number of his lessons which compared the attitudes of living within the “rules” of religion vs living within the “love” of religion. His bottom line was consistently that a person cannot teach or expect willing compliance the rules (for lack of a better word) until you exhibit the love. This certainly applies to leadership at any level.
    Thanks for this reminder of a man for whom I will always have heartfelt respect.

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  2. Matt Franks Avatar
    Matt Franks

    Chris,
    Thanks for posting this awesome message! As stated before you have such clear and simple communication style that allows you to take a complicated subject and make it simple. I guess that is the difference between Educators and Communicators. Educators take something simple and make it complicated, where communicators take something complicated and make it simple!:)
    Leaders that are other people oriented have such a great attitude about them that is other people oriented. They have charisma! Remember people are interested in people that are interested in them. That is not a set of skills, but a specific attitude. The fact of the matter is; leaders have the great ability to connect with other people. They know that people will not go along with them if they cannot get along with them. So how does a leader connect with someone? Simple; leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand!
    I read this acrostic one time , which I have been trying to memorize, and thought it might help breakdown how effective leaders connect with other people:
    C — Consider others first.
    O — Open yourself up to them.
    N — Never violate their trust.
    N — Never manipulate them.
    E — Encourage them at every opportunity.
    C — Constantly add value to their lives.
    T — Treat them with respect.
    I thought that was such an awesome definition of how to connect with others. At the same time, there are certain relationship rules that every leader should follow.
    Here are five relationship rules I read from best-selling author John C. Maxwell:
    1. Get along with yourself.
    There’s a reason why this rule is No. 1 on my list. If you learn to get along with yourself, then you’ll find it will be easier to get along with the people around you. Read this carefully: hurting people hurt people. Over the years, I’ve observed that people who can’t get along with themselves can’t get along with anyone else, either. If your act’s not together, you’re going to have relationship problems all your life. So learn to like yourself.
    2. Value people.
    Valuing people will keep you from manipulating them. It will keep you from treating your employees like servants or slaves (see previously mentioned examples of bad-boss behavior). It will keep you from handling others badly simply because you’re having a bad day. Of course, you can’t just give lip service to valuing people. It’s not something you can fake. You cannot make another person feel important if you secretly feel that he or she is a nobody.
    3. Make the effort to form relationships.
    It takes a great deal of energy to develop relationships. I understand that. I also know that, as a leader, you have plenty of other responsibilities that require large amounts of energy, including the very act of leading itself. But though it might be tempting to put relationship building on the back burner as you focus on these other things, I encourage you not to do it. When you invest in relationships—with the people you lead, with your peers, with professional colleagues, etc.—you build a network that can provide encouragement, inspiration and support during good times and bad. And you also avoid one of humanity’s saddest states: loneliness.
    4. Understand the reciprocity rule.
    What is this rule? Over time, people come to share reciprocally, similar attitudes toward each other. For example, if you have a good attitude toward others and you maintain a good attitude toward them, eventually they’ll have a good attitude towards you. Conversely, if you have a bad attitude toward someone and you continue to maintain that bad attitude toward him, eventually (if not sooner), he’ll have a bad attitude toward you. In other words, when it comes to attitudes, what comes around, goes around.
    5. Follow the Golden Rule.
    You may have been looking for something a bit more revolutionary, but there’s a reason this principle has withstood the test of time. If you want to have productive, authentic relationships with the people you lead and work with, do unto others as you’d have them to do unto you.
    If you follow these rules, you’ll have a growing number of relationships that add value to your life and make you a better person. But it won’t stop with you. As you practice these principles, the people you lead will notice. And not only will they notice, they’ll start following your example.
    Thanks Chris!
    Best,
    Matt

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