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If You’re Dumb, You’d Better Be Tough!

Rockybalboa_1_2The title of this post is one of my favorite movie lines.  Partly because it is funny, and partly because it is true.

Raising three sons keeps me in constant mindfulness of the need to be tough.  As boys grow to men, there are myriad lessons to learn about life and how to handle it.  Not that I am an expert, after all, I’m the guy that chickened out from the top of the high-dive in elementary school in front of all the girls, so I certainly have no corner on the market on toughness or bravada.  But I have learned a lesson or two that I desperately hope to successfully pass along to my offspring.  One of these is the lesson of toughness.  Orrin Woodward likes to quote the phrase, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."  It is a simple, but ever-so important reminder.  But notice that it only works on the assumption that "the tough" are "tough."  What if they aren’t?

Life isn’t fair.  Perhaps that’s the starting point for my boys.  There won’t always be a referee or life-guard on duty.  There won’t always be someone (in the human sense) watching out for you.  Things don’t always go your way, and no, there are no free lunches, either.  One thing I can still remember my own father telling me many, many years ago is, "No matter how good you get at something, or how much you accomplish, there will always be someone better than you.  Be ready for it."  Valuable advice.  Competition out there is stiff.  Evil is real.  Health is fleeting.  People will hurt your feelings.  The list goes on.  That’s life.  Get used to it.

Is that enough tough talk?  Perhaps.  And certainly we’ve spent a lot of time on this blog discussing the nicer, "softer," more sensitive aspects of life.  But without an understanding that success and greatness and achievement and significance do not come without toughness, sensitivity to the lighter side and the softer stuff is not as valuable.  We need both.  Rest assured, there will be a time, or many times, when you will have to be tough.  That’s just the way it is.  Prepare for it, resist the temptation to baby yourself, and stiffen your spine.  Besides, it’s worth it.  The world loves heroes.

Please don’t get me wrong.  By being tough, I do NOT mean being a bully, being mean, or being cold hearted or mean-spirited.  These are not tough, they are the imposters of true toughness.  Being tough does not take away from being loving, understanding or compassionate.  As Rocky said in the latest sequel Rocky Balboa, "In life, it’s not how hard you can hit, that counts.  It’s how hard you can get hit, and still be able get back up and move forward (slightly paraphrased)."  Toughness is not about hitting, it’s about taking shots and staying the course anyway.  It’s about responding to life’s turmoils properly.  It’s about enduring.  It’s about attitude.  It’s about perseverence and resolution.      

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. 

You’ll still have to be tough, even if you aren’t dumb!!!!!!

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5 responses to “If You’re Dumb, You’d Better Be Tough!”

  1. Larry Herring Avatar
    Larry Herring

    Chris,
    I think there’s a lot of us (I would argue most of us) who still want to quiver the lower lip and scream and/or run away when we get hit. I’ve done it, but it didn’t take that exact form. It usually came in the form of lashing out at the critic directly or behind their back (even if they were right). Sound familiar to any of you? Yeah, I’m probably the only one.
    I’m not proud of those times, but I’ve grown. I’ve learned that toughness is intimately entwined with emotional intelligence.
    In fact, I would argue that someone who shows toughness is simply showing their higher “EQ” or “emotional quotient”.
    It goes back to what Orrin Woodward teaches with PDCA. Plan-Do-Check-Adjust. I don’t remember him teaching any acronyms like PDCCWQ (Plan – Do – Cry -Complain – Whine – Quit). PDCA is an emotionless outline and intentionally so. That doesn’t mean you should never deal with your emotions. There are healthy ways to do that and there are unhealthy ways (perhaps another topic for the blog, Chris). Being tough means being able to exhibit emotional intelligence, stick to PDCA, and exhibiting, as Chris expertly put it, “perseverance and resolution.”
    -Larry

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  2. Matt Franks Avatar
    Matt Franks

    Chris,
    I love the post. I heard a quote about toughness that I thought might be relevant to your topic. “Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.” That quote has served me well when I need a pick me up.
    Over the course of my leadership walk I have discovered that one of the biggest differences between successful and unsuccessful people is their perception of and response to failure. Successful people are willing to take the critic’s best shot. They have a high tolerance for “mental pain.” In fact there is a mental toughness that a successful person possesses that is the great seperator.
    A successful person is tough enough to know that what happens to them is not nearly as important as what happens in them. A true leader has a toughness to their emotional intelligence that enables he or she to seperate through the initial shock of an emotion and find a win-win solution to move forward. In fact they know it is all apart of the procress.
    So just know that when tough times arrive in your life, they have not come to stay, they have come to pass. But how you handle them will show you how tough you really are!
    Chris I just want you to know how much we all appreciate the toughness showcased by you and Orrin as well as the rest of the pc and rt members. The weak have definatley become strong in the precense of the bold. Keep Leading!
    Best,
    Matt

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  3. Tyler Avatar
    Tyler

    Hey Chris I sure enjoy your comments, thoughts, and insights on leadership and success principles… I’m impressed by the fact you’re an avid reader. Currently I am reading Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, curious have you ever read it?

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  4. Chris Brady Avatar
    Chris Brady

    The comments from readers just keep getting better and better. Larry, you’re PDCCWQ cracked me up, and I might ask your permission to use it from stage! Matt, as usual, your contribution is spot-on and a great addition to this dialogue. And finally, Tyler, I have read the Art of War and found it very interesting (and a little Machiavellian, although Sun Tzu came first!) and there are some great thought starters and strategies that apply to daily battles in life. If you’re interested in that sort of thing, the absolute best book on warfare strategy I have ever read is “The 33 Strategies of War”, by Robert Greene. enjoy!
    Chris

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  5. DaveC Avatar
    DaveC

    Chris,
    I just watched this video clip which was suggested by Randy Lovell on Orrin’s Blog:
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479143/trailers-screenplay-E31443-314
    If Rocky Balboa/Sylvester Stallone isn’t on the TEAM, he should be.
    DaveC

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