Smiler To my three readers: I thought you’d like something a little more humorous after all the tough talk and serious stuff lately (Caption contest excepted):

Sam Goldwyn, an immigrant to the United States from Poland, became a famous movie producer through MGM studios.  He also had a special way with the English language:

1. A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on

2. I’ll give you a definite maybe

3. We’re overpaying him, but he’s worth it

4. I never liked you, and I always will

5. Include me out

6. Don’t talk to me while I’m interrupting

7. I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong

8. Tell me, how did you love my picture?

9. Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn’t see it

10. We have all passed a lot of water since then

11. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you!

12. Color television! Bah!  I won’t believe it till I see it in black and white.

13. I read part of it all the way through

14. Let’s have some new cliches

15. Going to call him William?  Every Tom, Dick, and Harry has the name William

16. Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

And there you have it.  You didn’t ask for it, so you got it!

🙂

Update: Based on some of the early comments I have recieved on this post, I thought it might be fun to have everybody collaborate and add any "Yourselfisms" that you can come up with similar to these bits of genius from Goldwyn.

Here are some:

There are times when you just don’t have time.

Sooner or later if you don’t get it done, you won’t have to do it.

I don’t know what I don’t know, and I’m the most ignorant about what I’m ignorant about.

We went in the wrong direction far enough that we’ve come full circle.

I’m going to bend your ear and be straight with you.

I didn’t know that I always wanted to know that.

I’ll be with you immediately, in just a minute.

That project is finally finished, for now.

The older I get, the better I was, to those who weren’t there.

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30 responses to ““Goldwynisms””

  1. g.a.b. Avatar
    g.a.b.

    These are great. I was going to leave a comment, but I already logged out. ;- ]

    Like

  2. Dom.E. Avatar
    Dom.E.

    How about this famous quote and action? “I hate not having any money,” they say but then they turn around and buy that new fangled thing that costs a few hundred dollars. Hey hey, delayed gratification works for me – my parents taught me well and TEAM reinforces that!

    Like

  3. Jackie Frey Avatar
    Jackie Frey

    Hi Chris,
    Just wanted to let you know that you have four readers.
    I love you & your wife so much. . . you’re such an inspiration. God had & has continued with his great plans for you guys.
    Thank you for all you do.
    God Bless,
    Jackie

    Like

  4. DaveC Avatar
    DaveC

    I had something important to say but I forgot what it was so I’ll say it anyway.

    Like

  5. Owen Derry Avatar
    Owen Derry

    Chris:
    Your humor is funny.
    Signed: Reader 2.43

    Like

  6. Phyllis Hoff Avatar
    Phyllis Hoff

    Chris:
    My grandparents were immigrants to the United States from Poland.
    We get polish jokes alot.
    I love them. I think they are great.
    Good way to lighten things up a little.
    Have a great day.
    Phyllis

    Like

  7. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    And if you think this one is funny listen to that one.

    Like

  8. Alicia Gaglio Avatar
    Alicia Gaglio

    My Grandfather was from Poland and he used to say things like that too…must be a Polish thing!! Anyway, thanks for bringing back fond memories!!
    Do I make it about 6 or 7 readers????

    Like

  9. David Avatar
    David

    Hello Chris. I’m reader number 6. Since Terri talked on setting multiple home pages you and Orrin are part of my home pages. Thank you for the Info

    Like

  10. jimmie jayes Avatar
    jimmie jayes

    Its not like this is rocket surgery!

    Like

  11. JP Avatar

    You always find what your looking for in the last place you look?

    Like

  12. g.a.b. Avatar
    g.a.b.

    We don’t have a lot, except those that are created on the fly, laughed at & ofttimes forgotten…
    …but here’s one I tell my kids:
    “Uh, uh, uh, don’t be taking words outta’ my mouth!”

    Like

  13. dean clouse Avatar

    I realized that I was going the wrong direction and making great time doing so.

    Like

  14. Hurting Inside Avatar

    I would miss not having you in my life even if I never met you.
    “Let’s go play bowling.”
    After ordering a rootbeer.
    “This tastes like a rootbeer” (stunned)
    Fraternity Election Speech
    “I have plans and I have ideas. I have plans to have ideas, and ideas about plans.”
    “After I get the honeymoon out of the way I’ll join the shriners.”
    (When I said this I meant after I get the bill/expense for the honeymoon paid I would be able to aford to join the shriners. The fiancé wasn’t too excited about how I worded that one.)
    “Here are the rules:
    1. I am never wrong.
    2. If I am wrong see rule number 1”

    Like

  15. Owen Derry Avatar
    Owen Derry

    Chris: Not necessarily for posting. Check out http://www.rinkworks.com/said/.
    There are hundreds of great quotes.
    Yogi Berra was great at these (until he died, but he was still good even after that). Check out http://www.rinkworks.com/said/yogiberra.shtml.

    Like

  16. Brad L. Avatar
    Brad L.

    I’m not saying, but I’m trying to say…
    Nothing more needs to be said. 🙂
    BL.
    Reader #3.142857142

    Like

  17. sal Avatar

    There is a song, “Take a load off Sally,” but my “I” personality always heard…
    “Take the long road, shorty.”

    Like

  18. Loren Wade Rednour Avatar

    You have more readers than that. I check every day. Thanks for your constant supply of knowledge.

    Like

  19. Mark Avatar
    Mark

    I’ve always liked the saying…
    I’ve burned enough bridges in my life to discover I live on an island!

    Like

  20. dean clouse Avatar

    Mason-Dixon cups?

    Like

  21. paragon Avatar
    paragon

    he would lie when the truth would fit better.

    Like

  22. dean clouse Avatar

    A tiger can’t change his spots. Ok, that isn’t a Deanism, but Al Gore did say that in his election against Bush!

    Like

  23. Hurting Inside Avatar

    @dean clous
    Mason? Conspiracy? there is none. :^Þ (I know, I know, the mason-dixon line. The same one that seperates the Northern Masonic Jurisdiction from the Southern acctually)
    @sal
    I used to think the line in Rod Stewart’s song, “There he goes, movin across the water. There he goes turnin my whole world around.” was “Hairy goat, movin across…”
    rotflolomgbbq

    Like

  24. dean clouse Avatar

    Hey Hurting inside, I am mostly deaf. If you want to have a battle on the game called “what was that song lyric?” then I must warn you that I am the grand champion of all time. For instance, Seal has a song that says “Kissed from a rose on the grave” or something. For years I thought he said “I was kissed on the nose by a train”.

    Like

  25. Hurting Inside Avatar

    nice!
    kissed on the nose by a train…
    sounds painfull
    ;^)

    Like

  26. Travis Avatar
    Travis

    “Don’t look at me with that tone of voice.”
    We aviators have a few of our own…
    “The definition of flying is, throwing yourself at the ground and missing.”
    When describing beautiful flying conditions with no clouds and unlimited visibility…”Severe Clear”

    Like

  27. Real Avatar
    Real

    I couldn’t think of anything so I made something up….hope it’s ok…
    “What’s mine is mine and what’s yours(that I want) is borrowed from me and so I expect a quick return.”
    And that is my attempt….Hope it’s not confusing….

    Like

  28. Marc Avatar

    Don’t eat with your mouth full and don’t talk with your mouth open.

    Like

  29. Marc Avatar

    No one goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.

    Like

  30. Martha Avatar
    Martha

    I alwat thought it was kissed by a rose on the brain

    Like

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