Wow.  That was quite a reaction to my last post on blind spots.  I would almost venture to say that we had more than three readers on that one!  I must have struck a sewer pipe, er um, I mean a nerve.

Anyway, one of your comments prompted a thought: wouldn't it be cool if we had an automatic, anonymous, electronic feedback and notification process where the brave could find out about their blind spots?  Here is what I mean.  We know that everyone around us sees and tolerates our blind spots.  And we also know that we are largely oblivious to them.  For those of us wanting to change and get better, and for those who are so oblivious to their terrible blind spots that those around them are praying and hoping and wishing that the offender would figure out the problem and deal with it, this "service" would serve to notify people of such.  Imagine getting an email that reads something like this:

Dear You:

Someone who knows you quite well, and either cares for your soul and personal growth and development, OR can't stand the way you are behaving any longer, has sent you this Electronic Blind Spot Notification (EBSN).  What they wish so desperately for you to discover is that you _________________________________________  (fill in the blank here.  It could say you are an avid overtalker, you need to stop interrupting people, you are too combative, you are self-righteous, you are selfish, you are a gossiper, you are a whiner, you smell, etc. etc. etc.) Please correct this problem immediately as the people around you can stand it no longer.  Any questions can be directed to your parents, who should have fixed this in you during your upbringing, unless they too suffer from the same malady, in which case they need a similar notification, so feel free to pass this along to them (properly personalized, of course). 

Sincerely,

Someone

There you have it: my new patent-able idea.  I think we could charge three or four dollars per EBSN, and by my calculations (let me see, do the multiplication, carry the one . . . ) this would add up to millions of dollars. 

The only problem I can see here is the hurt feelings, broken confidence, pain, regret, and embarassment this could potentially cause.  Hmmmm.  Feedback is certainly not an easy thing to accept.  I'll have to think on this one.

In the meantime, we can all look into our OWN blind spot mirrors and stop worrying about others and THEIR blind spots.  Maybe, just maybe, if we work on fixing ourselves and give others the grace and tolerance we demand they give us, everything might just get a little better.  But this would require self-discipline, courage, determination, and a growing heart.  For this, I have no patent-able ideas.  There are no electronic quick fixes.  I guess I'll just have to keep recommending that everybody listen to CDs, read good books, attend functions with other postive, like-minded people, and utilize a mentor.  After all, that seems to be working pretty good so far.

 

Posted in

11 responses to “Blind Spots #2”

  1. Hurting Inside Avatar

    Heh, hate to break it to you. There is already a free service like that on Facebook.com (where you should get an account and join the TEAM group by the way) It’s called honesty box and is anonymous. It also lets the reciever send a message back (they just don’t know who it is going to) and the original responder can respond anonymously again and again.
    But I do agree with you. Feelings can be easily hurt on there. I think the CDs, books, seminars and having a personal mentor are working great!

    Like

  2. dean clouse Avatar

    Thanks for putting this up man. Now maybe people will stop worrying about me and start looking into the mirror! Just kidding. Actually what I like to do sometimes is ask someone, whether they barely know me or if they know me really well, what they think of me and what they think my weaknesses are. Usually it’s no big deal and I already know what they are going to say, but other times it’s like asking Rocky Balboa to sucker punch you. I end up saying “ouch, I really do that?”

    Like

  3. B.A. Avatar
    B.A.

    Chris, this post and yesterday’s were certainly ones that caused some self-evaluation, which I believe is what a post should do. (thanks to Matt yesterday for the mention of “Leadership and Self-Deception”. I also agree that this currently is the most blind-spot revealing book I’ve ever read).
    Speaking of blind spots, I had a close friend ask me how I would respond to the following integrity challenge by an associate of his:
    “Let me pose a question to you. If someone accidentally misses paying for an item, like a pack of gum under a 12 pack of soda in the shopping cart and doesn’t realize it until they are in the parking lot and they are packing the car, but then they decide to keep the item without paying because it’s only a little bit of money. Would you consider this a lack of integrity?” My friend said yes. His associate then asked, “If a person speeds, even 1 mile over the speed limit, would you agree they’re technically breaking the law and could be fined?” My friend said yes again. His associate then continued, “Would you agree that when someone speeds and doesn’t get caught, they are technically stealing from the local municipality or state government, however small amount of money that may be?” My friend said yes again. His associate followed up with, “If you agree that the person speeding is technically stealing, then shouldn’t you consider speeding a sign of a lack of integrity?” My friend didn’t know how to answer and asked me how I would have answered. I pondered this awhile as I had not thought of this before and couldn’t find any flaws in his associate’s thinking. Any thoughts from you Chris or any of you on the blog?

    Like

  4. Jason Avatar

    I already have an EBSN… it’s called a WIFE! 🙂 hahaha!
    Just kidding… I am blessed to have a wonderful wife that I admire… though she is there for me whenever I need some good old fashioned humbling! :o)
    God Bless Chris!!!

    Like

  5. sal Avatar

    I do not know if this is relevant or not, but what I have had to do (especially as of late) is to stop and ask God to help me forgive myself. Looking in the mirror has been extremely difficult. I do not like what I am seeing, but the fact of the matter is I cannot change what has happened. I can only move forward and pray that others will forgive me. That was so easy, but I was still beating myself senseless. I was lying awake for hours after turning off the light, going over all the mean things I said or did or the people I did not even know who I trampled.
    At any rate, the last couple of nights I have had to humble myself and pray to God to ask His help in forgiving myself. That has been harder than forgiving anyone else…ever. Seeing other’s mistakes and flaws is easy and can be irritating but we do not have to live with them 24/7. Once we figure out our own flaws and see the damage we do…it can really start to hurt inside. Forgiveness of ourselves…I am at the very beginning of this road, but I could not be there with better people at my side.
    One final note…a quote I found last night:
    “Leave the Irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him.” Oswald Chambers
    Thank you Chris…
    Sara in WI

    Like

  6. Hurting Inside Avatar

    @ B.A.
    Here is the thing. The two examples are not as easily comparable as the associate makes them out to be. Speeding you do on purpose… or do you? The gum was taken on accident but THEN kept on purpose.
    There was a chance to repair the mistake with the gum. It is the fact that the mistake was not repaired and the gum returned or paid for that causes the lack in integrity, not the fact that it left the store.
    Now for the speeding example. First of all, usually you can’t get a ticket for single digits over or if you do it will be thrown out in court; however, this does not make it right. I would say purposely speeding may indicate lack in integrity not because you are stealing from the government (as tickets are at their discretion and then the courts) but more a lack of integrity that you are breaking a law that your elected officials put in place to keep you and others safe.
    Now if you look away from your spedometer and when you look back you were speeding this is more like the gum incident. You were speeding on accident. If you slow back down and are not pulled over before hand it is not lack of integrity. If you speed up then it is.
    Last scenario. You are going the speed limit, or think you are. You find out next time you take your car in for a tuneup your spedometer was broken or off. You have been speeding for months and not realized it. (Similar to finding gum in your cart you didn’t know existed) This is NOT lack of integrity because you cannot go back and un-speed that month. It simply cannot be done, so why would that be lack of integrity if you were truly unknowingly speeding. In the gum example that would be like getting home, putting grocerie bags on the table to sort the next day because it is late. You find the gum, you drive it back to the store only to find it went out of business. (for giving away all its profit in free gum) If that store went out of business (assuming it was a mom and pops operation not a large chain) you can not repair that mistake. It was an accident that cannot be fixed. Therefore keeping the gum does not any longer indicate lack in integrity.
    Now the real question is how far do you go? Do you hunt down the store owner and figure out how to mail them the gum or money for it? Maybe ;^)

    Like

  7. Trevor Swallow Avatar

    Thank you. It is one of the most painful and difficult tasks we are undergoing as part of the awesome TEAM training system. But for sure, it will have some of the highest payoffs as we grow and develop. It’s so easy to point to those hard-to-see areas in other people (a spouse for example), but when the finger is pointing the other way at ourselves, then it definitely earns it’s name. Thank you, for leading us on this road to grow.

    Like

  8. Waxahachie Avatar
    Waxahachie

    Chris,
    I think most the CD’s that have come down on system lately have discussed PDCA and legacy. Even tonight at seminar the obituary thought was mentioned. We have to look internal and realize we can’t blame others for our situations. Self evaluation is critical and the only way we are going to survive leading millions of people. How are we going to be remembered? What do people think when we leave the room? Goals in stone, plans in sand. These are all so very important for us to realize in leadership. Too long have we just found the bad in someone else in hopes to create the illusion that we are OK afterall.
    I thank God daily for giving me mentors that help me PDCA!! I thank God daily for men and women that are transparant enough with their dreams, struggles, and victories that enable me to move on. I am following the right investors, realizing my failures are not failing, but experiences to learn from. I will praise the unsung heroes.
    We need revelation with our blindspots in order to take the lumber out of our own eyes!!
    Sincerely…..
    One of your 3!!

    Like

  9. Desiree Avatar
    Desiree

    Thanks so much for the reminder to “check” ourselves!
    I recently had a moment where someone shared a blind spot with me – and it was quite liberating. The person actually meant to tell me something I had done that helped her, but in the midst of telling me this she relayed something I did that annoyed her. At first it hurt my feelings. But I know that everything she said was done in love, and with the best intentions. Judge ourselves by our actions and others by their intentions – right? She helped me realize that I am not perfect and people can actually find my idiosyncrasies annoying! It was immensely humbling. And being humble is something with which I have struggled. I haven’t told her yet, but I should thank her for that.

    Like

  10. Robby Palmer Avatar

    So long ago, but so true today! EBSN! I want one!

    Like

  11. Judith Avatar
    Judith

    Thanks for so much teaching and vision. You are amazing my mentor Chris Brad. ✌🌏🌎🌍🔥

    Like

Leave a reply to sal Cancel reply