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Positive Pessimisms

Okay, that's enough serious stuff on this blog for a while.  It's time to have some fun.

Erik Weihenmayer, an extraordinary individual, is an author, speaker, and a mountaineer who has climbed the top seven highest peaks in the world.  He's also completely blind.  I had the pleasure of hearing him speak at a recent convention and laughed and cried at his story. One of the things he touched on made me chuckle, and every since I haven't been able to avoid using such statements in my daily life.  This has been a lot of fun (and perhaps annoying to those around me).

Here's the concept:  Erik said he has a climbing partner who utters what he calls "Positivie Pessimisms."  I didn't understand what that meant, at first, either.  But once Erik explained it, I couldn't stop laughing.  Erik said in the middle of some difficult passage on the mountain, at just the right moment, his friend would utter something like the following:

"Well, it might be freezing cold out here, but at least its windy." 

or

"Erik, you might be out of shape, but at least you're slow."

Get it?  Statements that are positively pessimistic!  Just the kind of thing I hate to love!

Anyway, since trying my hand at this little word game, I have heard the following:

"We might be about to elect a man to the Whitehouse that hates America, but at least he doesn't have any experience!"

and

"One of the candidates for president is pretty old, but at least he doesn't have any personality!"

and

"Your momma may be ugly, but at least she's mean."

You get the idea.  So, in the spirit of collaboration and having just a little fun once in a while, I JUST KNOW that all three of you readers out there will be able to come up with some good ones! Please, let us hear it!  Just how "positively pessimistic" are you? 
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24 responses to “Positive Pessimisms”

  1. Karie Avatar
    Karie

    I may have a small business, but at least I don’t have any friends.

    Like

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  2. Kerry Konecny Avatar
    Kerry Konecny

    Chris
    The stock market and housing prices are falling but at least the government has a bailout!

    Like

    Reply
  3. Dave Nelson Avatar
    Dave Nelson

    Hey Chris.. I may be in the 95% club but atleast I owe my soul to the local bank!
    ….It may be hot and humid here in Florida but atleast the water is unsafe to swim in.
    ….It’s good to live in the playground of the rich and going to Disneyworld only costs your firstborn and a second mortgage on your house trailer. Maybe they will take a sheep or goat on my second visit.
    ….I may not be a reader but atleast I don’t know where the library is located.
    …..Gasoline at $4.00/gal.is a wonderful invention and I’m a blessed American to have a 4×4 truck getting 11 mpg.
    …Well, I may have to work a part time job for 50 hrs per week, but atleast my yard looks like a sand box.
    ….Well, my business may not be progressing very fast but atleast everyone at work thinks I’m cookoo.

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  4. Tom Seib Avatar
    Tom Seib

    It will be just my luck that gas prices will only be down for a short time, now that ive been layed off I was trying to save alot of money not driving to work!

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  5. Owen Derry Avatar
    Owen Derry

    I may be getting sued, but at least it’s by…
    (Ok, forget that one.)
    I may be in real estate, but at least my wife works with me!

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  6. Brent Campau Avatar
    Brent Campau

    Ha! My buddies from high school always used to do this. Thanks Chris! Good times.
    During football we’d say…
    Hey, stop making fun of so and so. He might not be able to catch, but at least he’s weak.
    And for sure I have to take a political shot or two…
    One of the presidential candidates is about to tax the heck out of the American people, but at least he’s lying about it.
    One of the presidential candidates has a cult-like uninformed voter base, but at least those “voters” won’t actually get off the couch to vote.
    Oh wait! That last one is positively positive:)

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  7. dean clouse Avatar
    dean clouse

    Owen wins!!!

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  8. Mike C. Avatar
    Mike C.

    Barack Obama has some scary associates from the past and present, but at least the media is in the tank for him and won’t inform voters and scare them with the truth.

    Like

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  9. Phyllis Hoff Avatar
    Phyllis Hoff

    Chris:
    I always get this one.
    You are really short, but at least you don’t have so far to
    fall to the ground.

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    Reply
  10. Nate Avatar
    Nate

    -I may not be a Black Diamond but at least I’m not showing 15 plans.
    -I have no time but at least I would sell my children before my t.v.
    -I may not have any money but at least one presidential candidate will give me help for free so I don’t have to get off this couch.

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  11. Chris Avatar
    Chris

    I never get it right, but at least I don’t know what I’m doing!

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  12. Ben & Shelby Zeier Avatar
    Ben & Shelby Zeier

    Hi Chris. I didn’t come up with any positive pessimisms worth displaying, but came across some funny small business signs:

    In a Podiatrist’s office:
    Time Wounds All Heels.

    On a Septic Tank Truck:
    Yesterday’s Meals–on Wheels

    At a Proctologist’s door:
    To expedite your visit, please back in.

    On a Plumber’s truck:
    We Repair What Your Husband Fixed

    On another Plumber’s truck:
    Don’t sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!

    On a Church’s Billboard:
    7 days without God makes one weak.

    At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
    Invite us to your next blowout.

    At a Towing company:
    We don’t charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.

    On an Electrician’s truck:
    Let Us Remove Your Shorts

    In a Nonsmoking Area:
    If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

    On a Maternity Room door:
    Push. Push. Push!

    At an Optometrist’s Office:
    If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.

    On a Taxidermist’s window:
    We really know our stuff.

    On a Fence:
    Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!

    At a Car Dealership:
    The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.

    Outside a Muffler Shop:
    No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.

    In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
    Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

    At the Electric Company
    We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment.
    However, if you don’t, you will be.

    In a Restaurant window:
    Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    Drive carefully! We’ll wait…

    At a Propane Filling Station:
    Thank heaven for little grills.

    And don’t forget the sign at a
    CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
    Best place in town to take a leak

    Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
    CAUTION – This Truck is Full of Political Promises

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  13. Chris Avatar
    Chris

    Hi we’re from the government. We’re here to help.

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  14. John Avatar
    John

    It may be 120 degrees in Phoenix, AZ, but at least it’s a dry heat.

    Like

    Reply
  15. Doug Hines Avatar
    Doug Hines

    Brett farve talked to the Detroit Lions, but at least He is telling the truth.

    Like

    Reply
  16. lisatower Avatar
    lisatower

    Mainstream Media is completely negative and depressing, but at least its totally inaccurate and blatantly false.
    Tim

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  17. jonathan kurz Avatar
    jonathan kurz

    how about:
    There may be only three readers out here reading this, but thank God none of us know how to count to three.
    even better???
    Most people today may be ignorant of the facts, but at least they’re apathetic enough not to care.

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  18. Ron Fults Avatar
    Ron Fults

    Chris… I thought you may enjoy this video re: your favorite presidential canidate….

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  19. Paul Avatar
    Paul

    -I hate getting up for work, but at least i don’t get any sleep.
    -i hate showing the plan, but at least people don’t have any dreams.
    -the industrial age is tanking, but at least i don’t have the internet.
    -People are losing jobs in the manufacturing industry, but at least I’ve never heard of team/monavie.
    -banks are going bankrupt but at least i have a hundred year mortgage.
    -i have 4 jobs but at least i’m in debt up to my eyeballs.
    -i bought brand new furniture for every room in my house, but i least i wont pay for it until 2025.
    -you don’t eat any fruits or vegetables but at least you don’t have any free radicals.
    -we just got a mortgage higher then what the bank approved us for, but at least interest rates are going up.
    -we may be one of the largest mlm’s in the world but at least we just closed our warehouse in canada.
    -it may be your business, but at least we’ll change the name without telling you.
    Love,
    Paul and Jen

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  20. Mike Giroux Avatar
    Mike Giroux

    We may be suffering soon with a President without the proper Judeo-Christian traditions, but atleast he’s an American terrorist!!

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  21. Mike in St. Louis Avatar
    Mike in St. Louis

    Hey Chris! I thought Terri might enjoy this picture. My mom and I caught 2 Asian carp this weekend! Hers was around 35 pounds, mine was about 40!

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  22. Chuck Avatar
    Chuck

    Old Union Carpenter line:
    I may not be very good,But I sure am slow!

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  23. joe c Avatar
    joe c

    its colder in the winter than it is in the city

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  24. Danny Compton Avatar
    Danny Compton

    I may be ugly, at least I ain’t got no money!

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