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"The only way to be happy, is to give happy."

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Becoming a Cultivator

January 27, 2009

Days pass into weeks, weeks into months, months to years, and, well, you know how it goes. In fact, the older you are the more you are familiar with the frenzied acceleration of age.

The thing to consider, though, as these moments race by in a blur, is the lives of others around you. Leaders understand their natural network of friends and acquaintances is one of their biggest treasures. Not only does this web of connectedness provide business contacts and leads, but more importantly, the very spice of life. After all, we are here to serve others!

There are three approaches people take toward their hubs-of-connectedness (or networks):

1. passivity

2. destruction

3. cultivation

I believe each of these categories is obvious. We all know people who take little notice of others in their life, or on the contrary, who destroy relationships and contacts with habitually combative behavior. The most productive, fulfilled people, however, are those who actively pursue relationships and friendships.

There are many constructive steps toward becoming a cultivator. Caring and being interested in other people are prerequisites. Communicating regularly is a must. Listening to and knowing the other person is important. What is the other person's dominant personality type? What is their Love Language? What motivates them? What scares them? Being dependable, reliable, and loyal builds trust over the long haul. Honesty and fairness generate a momentum of their own, over time. And don't forget the power of providing encouragement and support.

If you tried you could, no doubt, create a list of your own. In fact, it seems the steps necessary to establishing friendships and relationships are known, in some degree, to us all. Building up a network of quality connections and relationships appears to be nothing more than a choice, for those who are willing to take the effort.

I encourage you to take some of those steps today. Call someone. Send a text. Write a note. Catch someone in the act of doing something right. Let someone know you care. Believe me, the world needs it! And once you see the boomerang-effect of cultivating relationships, you'll realize you need it too.

Posted in LLR Daily Application

6 responses to “Becoming a Cultivator”

Phyllis Hoff

January 27, 2009

Chris:
This post is phenomenal. There are so many people I am thankful for in my life, including you and Terri.
Sometimes we forget to tell them or show them, so I will reach out, and I want to say thank you to both of you.

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Cathy

January 27, 2009

Chris,
Thank you once again for your wise and timely words. I needed to read them tonight.
I have been lately watching someone, who says they want loving relationships, tear down what few they have with things they do and say. They lie, manipulate, connive, demand to be served, refuse to serve, have a “gimmie” attitude and show disrespect to authority figures and advisors. This person calls people of integrity liars because they don’t like what they are told. They have driven away family members and mentors with their anger, selfishness and vile words. I look at this person’s life and grieve, knowing that with but a few right choices, they could shine. This person lives a life opposite of everything you talked about, Chris, and it saddens me.
Before I started working where I am now, I was a temp for over 4 years. As a temp, I was mostly short term in a variety of places. I also looked for a job that was full time the entire time. I had one assignment that lasted me almost a year and 1/2. It was the one I enjoyed the most, though there were aspects of the job I disliked greatly, because I was there a long time and got to develop relationships with the full time permanent people there. A place to settle down and develop some longer term relationships, and maybe even friendships, was what I was after throughout my entire long job search.
At work right now, where there should be 2 working printers to serve 15 people, right now there is only one. There’s a lot of sharing going on! It’s a study in what you said, Chris. Some of us go to take our work off and find the work of others who work near us, in our cubicle rows. We take it with us to them and give it to them when we go back to our own desks, even if it means going a few paces out of our way. It’s just a way to be nice to each other, knowing the kindness will eventually be returned. Others wind up always getting their own stuff, because they never deliver anyone else’s, so no one will bring them theirs. Those of us who take the time to work on the consideration of even this meager relationship are thus rewarded, while those who do not aren’t.
I find it personally funny you wrote this and I am reading this today in particular. I stayed after tonight at work, with no overtime, for over 1/2 hour, working on a favor for my boss. She didn’t notice I stayed late to finish, and I won’t get it back or get overtime for it. It’s okay. She appreciates that it got done, it made her life easier today, and it wasn’t hard for me to do. The deposit in the relationship bank with my boss for doing it, and the satisfaction of a job well done are good enough for me for now.

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amanda

January 28, 2009

Chris I truly believe that God works in mysterious ways. I spoke with you last night about the Myspace page link. As I expected I woke up this morning to get my daily dose of leadership and found the link already available. Thank you will never be enough.
I posted the link to myspace right away and went on to read today’s post. Afterward I logged onto myspace to check my messages. I had one from a friend that has been like a sister to me since junior high. She had been going through a rough patch and was not talking to me. She had found the link and read this post and decided that she was sick of destruction and ready to start being a cultivator.
This is just one story of how your willingness to share your wisdom has changed my life and started the ripple effect for those around me! Thank you!
Amanda Schoch

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Debora Symons

January 28, 2009

Love this blog Chris, I among many others have relationship issues that I have to cultivate to what I desiring them to be. I tend from time to time think “Why isn’t anyone calling me?” But I know that if I want people to call me I have to think of them first and foremost!!
Thanks to TEAM we are all learning and growing in this process that we call LIFE!!
(The picture that you have posted with this reminds me of you (on left) & Orrin (on right) our DREAMERS!) I thank you for being such dreamers & continue to keep this fight alive for all of us!! God Bless. 🙂

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Wes Hartsook

January 28, 2009

Chris
This is so true. Someone sent me some sales statistics recently and it struck me how the “cultivation” aspect of relationships works in business, friendships and life. Here are some thoughts I sent along to some of our team recently that fits right into what you describe in your post.
Below are some statistics on the importance of follow-up in sales. If most people understand this, why don’t more people do it?
Let’s look at it from another perspective. In our business we understand the need to “make a friend,” “find a need,” and “transfer a feeling.” Look at the “Make a Friend” concept first. How many of us have ever developed a lasting friendship on one meeting or one exchange of ideas? I think we would all agree that it takes time and interaction to develop a REAL friend. If that’s true, what makes us think we can sit down with a prospect (or distributor), ask a couple questions, give him/her a little information, and expect there to be any potential for long lasting and growing friendships; or any basis for trust – the key ingredient of true friendships.
Larry VanBuskirk in the Ohio seminar in November addressed this better than I have heard in a long time when he went through the sequence of questions…How did you get started…Oh really, why’s that…Then what happened… That sincere line of questions has the potential of resulting in the beginning of long lasting, trusting relationships. Most of all it opens the door to people wanting to join us in a new venture based on being a part of something appealing…much bigger than a product or business.
The bottom line: Sincerely listen for their wants, needs, and desires. Follow through, as many times as necessary to “build the relationship”…showing that you really care. Then, even a no might turn into a yes…or the potential for something MUCH bigger as described in the book The Go-Giver. Read it and you will see what I mean. It will give you insight into why the giving spirit can lead to very positive, even unexpected results.
The challenge: It will always take longer than expected. Don’t give up.
Wes
Here are the sales statistics: Persistance Pays
Sales Statistics and why you MUST follow-up
• 48% of Sales People Never Follow-Up with a Prospect
• 25% of Sales People Make a Second Contact & Stop
• 12% of Sales People Only Make Three Contacts & Stop
Only 10% of Sales People Make More than Three Contacts
• 2% of Sales are Made on the First Contact
• 3% of Sales are Made on the Second Contact
• 5% of Sales are Made on the Third Contact
• 10% of Sales are Made on the Fourth Contact
Now Focus on this…
** 80% of Sales are made on the Fifth to Twelfth Contact **
Take a real good look at your business and see how you can become an 80%’r…

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Dustyn DeWitt

July 31, 2013

It’s amazing how simple this concept may be, but out human nature is to run from it, at least in today’s day and age. Putting out the effort to care about other people other than myself and my family?! Come on! That’s just too hard! -said my brain as soon as I read this post, as I’m sure many people’s brains are betraying them as mine did.
But even in the end, with all else aside, that what this life is all about. Reaching out, serving others, helping them when they are in need and accepting their help when you are in need. Working together to reach a common goal, and how can we do that unless we become cultivators of men.

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