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One Tough Language

I am so glad English was my first language, inculcated in toddler-hood. It is sublimely in shambles, and must be nasty to learn! The following shalt illustrate the point I doth make (author unknown):

We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes.

But the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.

Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese.

Yet the plural of mouse should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice.

But the plural of house is houses not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

The cow in a plural may be cows or kine,

But the plural of vow is vows and not vine.

And I speak of foot and you show me your feet,

But I give you a boot . . . would a pair be called beet?

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him

But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!

So our English, I think you'll all agree

Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

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7 responses to “One Tough Language”

  1. Ann Clous Avatar
    Ann Clous

    Now that is funny right there!

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  2. Phillip Wickey Avatar
    Phillip Wickey

    Why did we get stuck with such a complex language? I have to wonder, how do you pronounce “ough”? Add a T and get “tough”. Squeeze in an H and say “though”. Squeeze in an R and get “through”. Take out the
    R and and make a T the tail of the word, ending with “thought”, which is something I’ve probably put to much of into this inconsistent language with 4 ways to pronounce “ough”. Oh well.

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  3. Cathy - Team Rascals Avatar
    Cathy – Team Rascals

    Chris,
    That is a fun poem! It’s been years since I’d seen it. Thanks for sharing it.
    I have been told the 3 hardest languages in the world to learn are, in order, Russian, Chinese and Japanese in a tie, and English. Why?
    Well, first place Russian is just a bear to learn. We hosted a Russian for a while in an exchange program, and got a comprehensive Russian/English-English/Russian dictionary. The darn thing weighs over 5 pounds!! They have words it takes whole phrases of English to express . . .
    Second place ties Chinese and Japanese get there by their written words. Any language that takes a 5000 key keyboard to type it deserves respect! Were it not for that, they would be rather farther down the list. I have been told learning to speak them is not too hard, particularly if you have any kind of musical gift, because they are both musical languages.
    And third place English? Well, particularly American English is, even more than our British English (or, for that matter Canadian English) cousins viewpoint, a mish-mash of English combined with incorporations of words, sounds, spellings and meanings from dozens of different cultures. Everyone got a hand in deciding what English should be, and still does. Because English, more than about any other language in the world, is a language of change and evolution. English embraces new terms and words with abandon, to the point that they are adopted by other languages in their English versions. English is also loaded to the brim with dialects, with British, Canadian, Indian (and Pakistani) and all those regional American ones.
    The history and adaptive nature of English is what causes the conundrums you and Phillip both mention, Chris. And it is the reason I always have the deepest respect for anyone who has taken the time to learn and seek to master it as their second tongue. Heck, if WE who are raised speaking and writing it get confused at times, think how THEY feel!! LOL

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  4. John Dickinson Avatar
    John Dickinson

    Chris,
    Eye agree with ewe.
    Thanks four everything!
    Jon

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  5. Jeaux :) Avatar
    Jeaux :)

    like photigh (fish) and frunt. or erbs (herbs) throo (through) receive with an I before e except after c. except for sCIEence.
    Funny thing is, with such a germanic language that we have, you could phenetically spell things like this. And it be legal:)

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  6. bobby dawson Avatar
    bobby dawson

    Hey chris, my name is bobby dawson, I am an up and coming leader in LIFE, joined in november, I am a writer of poetry, I’ve been reading your book”a month of italy’ its intensified my dreams of travel and your beautiful, and enlightening stories have inspired my writing me even greater. I am a shy introvert, you’re books and cds are awesome, they have helped me grow beyond that shyness that has had a grip on me all my life. Thanks chris you are an awesome leader, YES I AM CRAZY

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  7. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    Thank you for making me smile. The English language has always been baffling!
    Sandra

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