The clouds were low that day as two of Flint's
finest pushed their plastic canoe into Sister Lake.  Neither man was as buff as he remembered
being in his high school glory days, but, then again, neither was as buff as he
currently thought, either.  As a result,
the canoe listed a bit as they clamored aboard and the waterline rose high
against the gunnels.  No matter, Bubba
and Cletus had plopped into their share of fishing boats, and their skills were
equal to the task of handling their ballast.

            "Yep,"
said Bubba.

            "Umm-hmm,"
said Cletus.

            And they
were off.

            "So
you enrolled in some more classes last month, did ya?" asked Cletus.

            "Yessir,"
answered Bubba.

            "Go
union!" said Cletus.

            "Yeah,
whatever fella came up with Job Banks was pretty smart.  Don't know what I'd a dun all these years
since the factory closed otherwise."

            "How
long's it been, now, anyways?" asked Cletus.

            "Perteneer
five years, can ya bleeve it?" answered Bubba.

            "Not
hardly."

            "It's
crazy ta see that old location where the factory wuz.  Nuthin' but concrete now as far as ya can
see.  Kinda spooky.  But I guess it don't matter, no way.  What with gettin' seventy percent of my pay
long as I keep up the schoolin'."

            "Umm-hmm."

            "Worst
time of job banks was the card-playing classes. 
I grew to hate them thangs."

            "Whyzzat?
Sounds fun ta me," said Cletus.

            "On
account a that stinky chick, what wuz her name? Oh yeah, Betty Knicker.  Couldn't stand having to play black jack with
her day after day. I tell ya, the things a fella's gotta do ta earn his
pay."

            "Yep.  Even them job banks ain't perfect."

            "But
now it's much better, tell the truth.  Mott Community
College has some pretty good stuff."

            "Whatcha
takin' this time?"

            "Govmint."

            "Govmint?"

            "Umm-hmm."

            "Don't
know much 'bout it masself.  Is it
intristin'?"

            "So
far it is.  I just kinda figured I'd git
up ta speed with all them talking heads on TV."

            "I
seen CNN talking about guvmint stuff just this mornin'.  Talking 'bout jobs and the economy.  Some saying it's gonna git even tighter round
here."

            "Well,
I could believe anythang.  That's why I
wanted ta take this class.  Give us a
little insight for whatsa comin'."

            "You'll
haveta teach me whatcher learnin'."

            "Itsa
deal, long as I can remember it all and keep it straight," said Bubba.

            "Sure
seems confusin'.  Makes ya kinda feel
like yer gettin' scammed."

            "That's
what I mean to find out," answered Bubba.

 

Two Weeks Later

 

            Bubba cast
his line while Cletus tied a new lure on his own.

            "Whatcha
findin' out about the guvmint?" asked Cletus without looking up.

            "Bunch
a stuff, as it turns out.  Pretty good so
far."

            "Like
what?"

            "Well,"
replied Bubba, "found out the economy and guvmint are kinda related."

            "Oh
yeah, how so?" asked Cletus.

            "Well,
do you remember when Billy Jenkins wuz messin' round with the deputy sheriff's
wife, what wuz her name?"

            "Louise."

            "Yeah,
Louise the sleeze.  How could I fergit?
Anyways," continued Bubba, "Billy was kinda like the guvmint and
Louise was kinda like the economy.  Billy
had ta do all kindsa stuff ta keep her intristed, ya remember."

            "Umm-hmm,"
replied Cletus, still engrossed in his line.

            "Bought
her stuff, took her places, wined 'er and dined 'er.  Did all kindsa stuff ta get what he wanted
from her.  Also, he did most of it
secret, of course, cuz he didn't want nobody ta know he'd been messin'."

            "Makes
sense, if ya going after something ain't yours. Course, we all knew about
it."

            "Yeah,
don't know who Billy thought he was foolin'," said Bubba.

            "Nor
what he saw in her ta begin with, I mean, she was a little rough," said
Cletus.

            "So
that's it.  Them two's just like the
guvmint and the economy, according to Mr. Tate."

            "Whozzat?"

            "My
guvmint professor down at the college."

            "I
don't think I get it, totally," said Cletus, looking up for the first
time.

            "Well,
Billy wanted somethin' from Louise, so he did all kindsa secret, crazy stuff to
get her to give him what he wanted.  And
I reckon he did alright by her for a while."

            "But
then the deputy sheriff caught 'em together at the Waffle House sharing
syrup."

            "Yep,
and that's when the whole thing ended. 
You see, it's just like the guvmint and the economy.  The guvmint messes around with the economy
trying ta git what it wants, but once it gets caught messin', the people find
out."

            "Umm-hmm.  The deputy sheriff was sure mad when he found out.  Put three holes in ol' Billy.  Killed him dead right there at the breakfast."

            "You
got it," answered Bubba smugly.

            "So
does that mean the guvmint is gonna git shot by someone?"

            "Well,
the analogy ain't perfect. That's just how I seen it, is all."

            "Who
would do the shootin', I wonder?" asked Cletus, back to tying his line.

            "Man,
yer inta this shootin' stuff.  I ain't talkin' bout shooting nobody. With the guvmint stuff, I'm talking bout something Tate said, something like 'Throwing the bumblebees out!' It
would be the citizens doing the throwing, ta keep the analogy workin'.  But they'd hafta git mad about the whole
situation first.  Ta do that, they'd
haveta understand what was bein' dun to 'em by the guvmint messin' with the
economy.  Ta understand, I reckon they'd
hafta bee in Mr. Tate's class with me.  I
told ya the analogy wuzzn't perfect.  It
didn't take all that much understandin' fer the old deputy sheriff to
understand what Billy was doin' with Louise!"

            "Yeah,"
answered Cletus, "he got mad right away, without delay! But I don't git how bumblebees got in it."

            "Mr.
Tate said the American people don't usually git mad if it happens slow
enough.  Said that was on account of the
guvmint givin' people thangs fer nuthin'. 
Way he figures it, long as guvmint gives people stuff, they stay as
docile as a baby that's dun had a nip a brew!"

            "He
said that?" asked Cletus.

            "No, not
exactly in that way, he didn't.  Don't
git distracted by my artful illustrations."

            "Yeah,
cuz otherwise, wouldn't you be sayin' that Billy shoulda been payin' the deputy
sheriff a bunch of money ta keep the whole thing quiet and just kinda look the
other way?  In that way, all of 'em would
be gettin' something they wanted?" asked Cletus, visibly proud of himself.

            "That's
it, Cletus! Yer a stinkin' genius. 
That's exactly what Billy shoulda dun, had he wanted ta keep messin'
with ol' Louise!"

            "Yeah,
woulda been a good idea for Billy, but he didn't have no money, no how."

            "Bubba
thought about it for a long while and made a few casts.  Finally, he said to Cletus, "Yeah,
Cletus, I guess yer right.  The guvmint
would never do that.  And, unlike Billy,
they've got plenty of money.  Billy
woulda had ta borrow it like crazy from someplace.  By the way, Cletus, when does yer
unemployment run out?"

To Be Continued