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We never met our neighbors on one side. By the time we bought our home the husband had already moved out. We saw the children once in a while, roughly the same age as our own, but that was about it. Otherwise, the house usually looked vacant.

Then one day I heard some racket and looked over to see a work crew dismantling the extensive wooden playset in the back yard. Piece by piece, it was being unceremonially hurled into the back of a rusty pickup truck. Soon, all that remained was a sad patch of woodchips where a happy playground had once been.

It was all a metaphor for the pain of broken relationships. My seminary professor, Dr. Doug Bookman, once made a profound statement about the deepest pain in human experience being relational pain. Contemplating this, I agreed with him. Nothing hurts more than a broken bond with another person. Hurt feelings are the strongest feelings of hurt we can experience. In particular, when a family breaks apart it is serious business. Pain flings itself in every direction and misses no one with its touch of lasting destruction.

Watching those workmen that day, I thought back over my life and the empty patches of woodchips in certain backyards of my memory. I have been fortunate, as there are not too many of them, but the ones I do have are strong testimony to the truth of Bookman's comment.

Keep the playset in your backyard in good working order. Maintain it daily with love and affection. Be intentionally loving and serving in the lives of the people God has brought into your life. Guard your relationships with constant vigilance. It's much easier to maintain good relationships and mend frazzled ones than to let them be carried away in a rusty truck. Once that happens, all that is left is a lonely patch of woodchips quietly suggesting what could have been.

Posted in LLR Daily Application

7 responses to “Tearing Down the Play Set”

Brenda Yost-Hatcher

February 22, 2012

Wow Chris! Another amazing analogy of the emptiness broken relationships cause. Having experienced divorce with children involved I can honestly state that death is an easier loss. With death there is closure…..with divorce pain lingers, loss lingers…..it is such an emotional stress that truly affects the rest of our lives. Thank God for LIFE Team resources I have seen some of that pain restored into joy for my family through healing and Gods grace. And like that empty spot where joy and laughter once came….will sprout a new life of flowers or new grown grass….nurtured back to a new life thru Christs love and care…Bless you for your wonderful ways of expressing LIFE!

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Eric Stone

February 22, 2012

Thanks to my wife’s and my own resolve, our mentors, LIFE, and our faith, we will never have to “tear down the play set”. It was sad day when my 14 year old son came home from school upset over his friends family issues. He said, Dad it seems all my friends parents are divorced or separated. As my wife and I continue to grow my heart aches for those who chose to “get out” instead of “get better”. Thanks for the post. God Bless.

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Casie Summerfield

February 22, 2012

This is sad but true. How many times have we participated in dismantling the playset of our own children with words or deeds against our spouse? The good thing about playsets is, with the right information and a willingness to implement that information, they can be re-assembled. 🙂

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Buffafly

February 22, 2012

It’s no wonder you are such a wonderful husband and father. You ARE vigilant of the relationships around you and continue to nurture them and “play” regularly. This post reminds me of the prayer last month that Christine(8) was saying, when she suddenly broke down and wept for her friend. I guess the friend’s dad was getting remarried, and so to Christine, this meant that the hopes of the original mom and dad being together was over. (I didn’t know she had been praying for that.) The “play set” of her friend’s house was officially dismantled, never to be put back together, bringing tears to Christine, an onlooker. Thanks for posting this, so maybe we can all work a little harder on getting our play sets solidly set.

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Venkatvarada.wordpress.com

February 23, 2012

Chris, A few years ago, Lynda and I went through what I now call a ‘shedding’ process God has taken us through. Part of it was when we lost our then dream home and a huge play structure as part of it which my kids witnessed being built as a reward for one of our goals we accomplished and later only to see it dismantled when we lost that home. Looking back, Satan and my fleshly choices had great hand in trying to break us as a family and God in His infinite mercy used (Romans 8:28) that as shedding process to build a greater intimacy among our family. Thanks for sharing this as it served me as a reminder of God’s love and mercy though the play structure is no longer there, Lynda and I have a marriage today that reveals God’s glory and our relationship with our kids is one of love, restoration of hope and above all a bond that has been strengthened like never before. A lot of credit to you and Terri and the Policy council members for your examples.

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Michelle A.

February 24, 2012

It never ceases to amaze me how your posts cause me to reflect on my life and the lives of others around me. What if… we were more focused, they tried harder, we were given better information… I am sure that families living out a divorce or separation are confronted with these brutal questions each day (and probably ever after). My pastor’s wife always is saying hold your loved ones close and don’t under appreciate them. Thanks for another thought provoking blog.

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paul jr

February 26, 2012

Wow this is such great truth, and a eye opener, thank you Mr. Brady for another great self examinating blog

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