He sat down at our table with an affable smile and a warm welcome that didn't require a single word of English. We stammered through broken greetings and soon learned he was the owner of the ristorante. Leio was his name, and he inquired about who we were, where we were staying, and how long we were in Italy.

"Il Trebbio," we said, pointing in the general direction of our villa, and mentioning also the name of the owner, "Maria Grazie," which always seems to bring acknowledgment and recognition. Leio smiled, nodded, and said, "Io nato il Trebbio!" meaning, "I was born at il Trebbio!" Astounded, we dug in further, straining our thin Italian to its maximum limits, but nonetheless determining that our new friend Leio, owner of the Bastian Contrario ristorante (which I mentioned briefly in my upcoming book, A Month of Italy: Rediscovering the Art of Vacation), was indeed born in the main house of the villa complex we are currently renting. Actually, we are in a farmhouse building thought to have been built in 1627, restored in 1839, and again in 1999. We are not in the main house, but a farmhouse out behind a more recently built palace of some sorts, that was probably constructed in the early eighteenth century. Leio, it seems, was born to some caretakers or workers who were living on the property of this marvelous, multi-generational (it is still in the same family as the original builders, themselves descended from land grants to French nobles by Charlemagne) estate. Next, Leio brought his own blend of "dolci vino" (sweet wine) to the table for us to try, and it was delectable, and probably not even alcoholic (but the best grape juice you ever did taste)! Then he brought out photograph after photograph of the marriage celebration of either his son or grandson (we can never be sure with this language barrier we are so desperately trying to work through) in Miami, Florida. We saw photos of Leio with Shamu at Sea World, Leio wearing funny glasses at a party, and Leio with a happy wedding couple who were also sporting crazy eye-wear. We parted fast friends with Leio, but not before discovering that the nice people with two kids at the adjacent table just happened to be the couple who had just taken up residence on our same property at the "cottage" next to our villa. More introductions and discussions followed as we learned that they were from Toronto, Ontario. Again, with promises to get our kids together the next day at the pool, we had made more friends in a foreign land.

In A Month of Italy: Rediscovering the Art of Vacation, I wrote about how we seemed to meet and become friends with people at every turn, finding interesting folks from around the world we felt we'd known forever. Just what is this phenomenon of meeting people from different cultures, lands, and backgrounds and striking out for common ground? Why is international travel so fraught with serendipitous  relationships that occur so easily one barely has to make an effort?

Just this morning, Terri and I rode the motorcycle up the steep hills into the medieval city of Cortona, parking conveniently just outside the city walls and walking to a cafe in the Piazza Signorelli. Immediately, Terri spotted Alessandra, the cooking class instructor she so enjoyed the year before (and who makes an extremely favorable appearance in the A Month of Italy book), and upon approaching her to reacquaint ourselves and say a quick "hello," we were immediately invited to have a seat and join her and her new cooking class clientele about to embark upon an adventurous day of culinary delights. We chatted amicably, Alessandra spouting off many of her classic witticisms (such as, "The mother of the idiot is always pregnant") and promising to email Terri some new recipes. She absolutely refused to allow me to pay for the coffees and danishes, shouting to the owner of the cafe across the tables and umbrellas of the piazza. By the time I reached him with money in hand, he folded his arms, shook his head, and said, "It is impossible. Alessandra wants to pay," in broken English.

Maria Grazie and husband Massimo, owners of Il Trebbio and some of the most gracious hosts imaginable, invited us to dinner last Saturday night in the garden courtyard behind the main home on the estate. Then, plans changed as their younger son announced his intentions to arrive that evening from Florence with his three small children, wife, and mother-in-law. Maria Grazie and Massimo insisted we still come to dinner, and the party of expanded size gathered in the three-hundred year-old courtyard for wonderful Italian cuisine and even more wonderful fellowship. Laughter, scampering children, and conversation flowed as if we'd all been best friends recently reunited. Finer evenings have rarely been seen.

I could give more examples of these types of nearly spontaneous, serendipitous moments of quality time with interesting, warm-hearted people that seem to happen to us once we are loose and abroad in a different culture. Is it just that we are normally too busy with our daily lives to allow room for this type of unplanned, unexpected bonding when we are at home? Is it that we must first break out of our normal routines in order to experience new relationships that are anything but routine? 

I chalk all this up to the wonder of travel, the art of vacation, and the endless possibilities for meaningful connection with other human beings once we're removed from self-importance and mundane responsibilities. I sincerely hope that I can inspire many more fortunate pilgrims to wander abroad, shake a foreign hand, and embrace those of other lands, generations, and cultures. Indeed, it is the richest reward of travel.

Sincerely,

Chris Brady  

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25 responses to “Fast Friends in Foreign Lands”

  1. Buffafly Avatar
    Buffafly

    So true! However, I must say that you, my dear, are the source of glue in every conversation. I watched you listen intently to a man tell in broken English the details of the Euro soccer game of Italia vs England. Even though you had seen the game with our boys the previous night, and you obviously understand soccer, you patiently let him explain all that he had to say. You smiled and soaked up anything someone would offer about themselves, asking questions to get them to share more deeply, not once interjecting facts about your own life! I love how your ears work overtime, while your mouth is used for smiling. People know you care, and they become instant friends, in whatever country God places us. You are a blessing indeed!

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  2. Lori Pfister Avatar
    Lori Pfister

    I could smell the coffee, hear the laughter, felt my face grin with Alessandra’s shout, and began thinking of Italian food for dinner. Thanks always for the brilliant way you share with us!

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  3. Cathy - Team Rascals Avatar

    I agree completely with Buffafly!
    You have pre-programmed yourself to make friends everywhere you go, with everyone you meet. I keep watching and learning every time I see you, hoping and praying to someday be even 1/2 as good at it as you . . .

    Like

  4. james pyka Avatar
    james pyka

    Great post Chris,
    You indeed seek mastery in every walk of your life from Business to Leisure.. can not wait to purchase the book in July.
    James and Claire

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  5. Walter Bourdage Avatar
    Walter Bourdage

    Chris,
    You my friend have an amazing way of involving the reader into your writings. The description to detail, word choices, and ability to get the reader to vision as if they were sitting their with you as you write, is truly an amazing touch. As I sat reading this blog tears welled in my eyes to down my cheek as I envisioned a trip like this with my own family and children. I want to thank you for your blessings that have been poured out to us and can’t wait to sit with you among the PC.
    God Bless,
    Walter Bourdage
    Team Centurions

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  6. Harry Avatar
    Harry

    This reminds me when I lived in Oaxaca, Mexico for one month. Tho I did not have the finances you have!

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  7. Yasminah Respes Avatar
    Yasminah Respes

    So excited to read your new book! It is very true that we’re so busy in our day-to-day lives that we don’t take the time to take a vacation. Nor do we take the time to say a simple hello to people. Thank you for all you do to develop other leaders so that we can help others really live their LIFE.

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  8. Kathleen Avatar

    sounds interesting. can’t wait to read it. 🙂

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  9. Nancy Crumback Avatar
    Nancy Crumback

    Thanks for taking us with you through fabulous visualization!! I ca smell the coffee and taste the danish!! Chris, you nailed it when you describe how easy it is to meet new friends when on vacation, yet, around home we seldom do. Is it because we don’t slow down from our hectic daily schedule to notice those around us? It DOES seem easier to block out those “busy” tasks when we’re far from home. I LOVE how buffafly says that your “ears work overtime and you use your mouth for smiling!” GREAT ADVICE that I will initiate today! Grazie!! BBNQ Terry and Nancy Crumback

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  10. Michele P. Avatar
    Michele P.

    How many times have I come across a friend in daily life and said “we need to get together”, “lets get the kids together for a play date” and on and on but it never happens. This lesson needs to be applied to my every day. TO break out of the routine and business and partake of that wonderful gift from God….fellowship with others. Thanks for taking time from your vacation to share your experience and thoughts!!!

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  11. Norma Avatar
    Norma

    Looking forward to reading the book…
    Your stories really “truly take me home”.

    Like

  12. Kristen Seidl Avatar

    Chris, I can imagine spending time in different cultures really opens your heart to developing relationships. In America we really take this for granted and yet we are the free-est nation on the planet. I pray that some day I can be half as good as you at meeting new friends and developing bonds and relationships both in America, Italy and wherever I go. Thanks for setting the example!

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  13. Wes Smith Avatar
    Wes Smith

    Making friends while on vacation is something that I’ve never truly taken time to do. That probably speaks to the nature of the vacation. I think we get so wrapped up in plans and schedules that we don’t soak in the goodness of our surroundings. Thanks Chris for opening my eyes to another spice of LIFE.

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  14. Alex Obiden Avatar
    Alex Obiden

    This story was absolutely incredible, Chris. Life is so worth living to the fullest. Sometimes, I think, that’s easy to overlook in the bustle of life. This book, I’m sure, will be a constant reminder of how to truly live the best way people can, with other people. Thanks, Chris.

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  15. David Garza Avatar

    Wow… Beautiful post and beautifully written. Thank you for the inspiration, it is much needed.

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  16. Michael Stithem Avatar
    Michael Stithem

    Thanks for the post. I loved your description of when mere strangers can feel like friends that you have not seen for awhile. It’s amazing when 2 families just click like that it makes conversation go so smoothly.

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  17. Mark Pruitt Avatar
    Mark Pruitt

    Just love your writing style Chris! Can not wait to get the book!
    Mark Pruitt
    TEAM BRAVEHEART

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  18. Pete Nicolini Avatar
    Pete Nicolini

    Chris, your writings assure us that there is a world of great experiences and people out there to go and visit.
    The details you use make it seem like they are our next door neighbors. They sure do seem nice enough. Here’s to the dream that they will be someday soon!

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  19. Jeanette Avatar
    Jeanette

    It’s so true Chris! The fellowship is sweet when experiencing a foreign land. Before children, Bob and I visited and stayed with some friends of the family in Budapest. It was an amazing experience to visit them and this city riddled with history, as a local would see it. Also, we had opportunity to see the country side of Hungary as we made our way into Vienna. We did not get the touristy view of the area, to say the least :). The most amazing time we had tho, was the fellowship and daily life with them. It was a sort of “go with the flow”, simplistic, slower pace than what we are use to here in the states. It was as though they lived life for the relationships. Needless to say, we had a very difficult time wanting to come back home, lol… I believe EVERYONE needs to experience a trip out of the country, at least once. We have so much here in America, in which we take for granted and yet so much to be learned from other cultures. Thank you for sharing your travel experiences. Indeed there are life lessons in everything, if we are looking.
    Terri, thank you for your commentary. From one wife to another; what a great example to learn from! God Bless!

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  20. Sara Hutniak Avatar
    Sara Hutniak

    Hi Chris.
    Your well-woven story of Italy and the people you met along your journey sounds wonderful. My boyfriend and I are heading to France this summer and instead of staying in a stuffy hotel we decided to rent out a condo from a local Parisiene in the 10é district so we can experience a grass roots vacation: being next door to a patisserie and market, the café three stores down and hear the bustle of the locals. While our trip will not be as expansive (or expensive 🙂 as yours, we are definitely looking forward to this vacation with a new culture.

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  21. Lucas Moldenhauer Avatar
    Lucas Moldenhauer

    Beautiful! Thank you for the inspiration. I am so excited about your book. Thank you for sharing your blessings.

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  22. Jim & Mary Robson Avatar

    Very inspiring!!! Re-charging elephant.)
    Thanks. Love and appreciate you two, Jim & Mary Robson

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  23. David H Nelson Avatar
    David H Nelson

    Hi Chris,
    This writing reminds me of being on my grandparents farm which has been in the family since the 1700’s. People, some relatives, would come there from all over the USA and just show up. The Farm is like a place they all knew where they could come and be loved, renew friendships and share stories and eat good food, and sit on the porch and marvel at the view. It’s where you learn to value the people relationships. You go through the stuff you have to go through hoping to make it to the next magical moment when people come together at the special place and you can just drink it in to your heart and soul.

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  24. Laurie Tallio Avatar
    Laurie Tallio

    I had the opportunity to be on a cruise once and the part I LOVED the most was hearing the story of the cabin attendee from India, and the waitress from Romania and the waiter from the Phillipines … and then going up into the mountains on Jamaica and learning the stories of the ladies selling their goods. Worldwide it seems the story is about doing what you can and going to great lengths to provide for those you love.

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  25. Dean Clouse Avatar

    And you ended it with a great point! Why don’t we just get past our own ” self-importance and mundane responsibilities” at home and make friends with our family friends and neighbors as quickly and well as a man in a foreign country with a big language barrier? That would probably improve our country much better and quickly than who the next president will be! Thanks brother!

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