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I recently came across an article I had written a couple years ago but never published anywhere, and, thinking that readers of this blog might enjoy it, decided to include it here.

             We were fishing near the Northwest Channel, just outside the boundaries of the Dry Tortugas.  As we bobbed around on the mild chop, the Woodward’s Dreambuilder yacht nicely handling the waves, we not only encountered new fishing stories, but we also heard some old ones as well.

            Shark fishing is what we were supposed to be doing.  Only the sharks didn’t seem to know that.  So instead we caught Yellow Tail Snapper, Mangrove Snapper, Blue Runners, and a bunch of other fish that ended up getting immediately re-hooked and sent squirming to the bottom as bait for sharks.  At one point (apparently thinking he was a shark) a thirty pound Black Grouper hooked himself on Tim Marks’s line and found his way into our cooler.  Later, with much effort by Orrin, a fifty pound Goliath Grouper (also playing the part of a shark) made his way to the transom platform of our boat.  Only the Goliath Grouper didn’t know that it was illegal for him to bite our line, so we had to let him go with a warning.  What happened next was a fish story and a half.  Tim’s rod bent violently downward and one of the best fights of the day was on.  The rod tip dipped and swerved from side to side with Tim expertly maneuvering in counter-attack to keep the feisty fish on the line.  It swam under the boat and tried to get the line hooked on the props.  Then it darted from one side of the boat to the other.  Next it dove straight down, then came jiggling back up.  Finally Tim’s superior angling brought the mighty opponent exhausted to the surface.  Gaffed and dragged aboard, we were quickly informed by “Captain Bill” that the worthy opponent was a Horse Eye Jack.  “About thirty pounds,” he said.  We nodded.  In seconds, Tim chopped the Jack into sections and used it to bait his shark rigs for another try at the elusive species.  After a few moments, I wandered inside the Dreambuilder’s living room (isn’t it cool when a boat has a “living room”?) and retrieved the Florida fish guide book we’d brought along.  Curious, I looked up the Horse Eye Jack.  There on the page was a magnificent picture of a fish exactly like the one Tim had just caught.  Exactly like it, except it was smaller and the size was different.  Then I noticed it.  The part about the world-record size Horse Eye Jack ever caught, that is: a mere twenty four pounds, eight ounces!

            At first Tim was all right with it.  After all, he was at that moment hoping for a shark to bite his chopped up trophy fish. It was not too late to save face.  But as the night wore on, and the trophy fish parts became soggy, stringy trophy fish parts, and the sharks continued to stay away from our boat by the thousands, Tim’s smirk changed slightly.  We had gotten so focused on catching sharks we missed a world-record fish!

            I immediately saw a lesson in our little caper.  We were out there on that ocean to catch sharks, sure enough.  But we were also out there to catch fish, have fun, enjoy each other’s company, and yes, generate some fish stories.  It was probably every bit as exciting catching that Horse Eye Jack as it would have been to catch a shark (maybe), but we were focused beyond the Jack, and we missed a unique piece of scenery along the way (but we did get a good story).  We should never lose site of the blessings we get along the way.  Sure we want to achieve greatness, sure we want to get our goals and dreams, but we should never be so focused that we lose site of the many blessings life delivers along the way, on the journey.  

            So much for the new fish story: now on to the old one.  “Captain Bill” had many to tell, but the best was about a ship wreck somewhere in our vicinity that day.  Apparently the wreck is a favorite among scuba divers (so we’ll be sure to double back and do that soon).  Apparently, a large Goliath Grouper, of the variety that Orrin caught, swam into the old wheelhouse of the sunken ship.  It was very cozy in there, and a good supply of small reef fish swam through it on a regular basis, providing a constant and easy source of food.  Also, the Goliath Grouper was relatively safe from predators in his little wheelhouse.  But gradually, he grew in size, as Goliaths do.  And he grew, and he grew, and he grew (sounds like a children’s story, doesn’t it)?  You see, Goliath Grouper can get up to over eight hundred pounds, and apparently this one did.  In fact, he grew so big in his little habitat, that he got too big to get out.  So for the rest of his days he is sentenced to swim in little circles around an old sunken wheelhouse wondering why so many scuba divers come to look at him!

            Again, the lesson for us is a compelling one (I guess I never thought about what value fish stories can have in our lives.  I think I’ll pay more attention to them in the future)!  That Grouper became imprisoned by his desire for comfort.  Born into the beautiful, vast ocean, he was free to swim and eat where he pleased.  But comfort and complacency lured him into an easy existence that at first didn’t appear dangerous.  I’m sure in the early days he swam out whenever he wanted.  Then, gradually, he began scraping his scales off getting into and out of the wheelhouse.  Finally, it was just too late.  His lifestyle had imprisoned him.  How often do we see that happening in people’s lives?  At first, our cubicles are merely comfortable, safe places to earn a living.  But then, slight increases in salary and status begin the imprisonment until it is too late.  Dreams and goals become regrets and missed opportunities.  We switch from living in the vast ocean of possibility thinking and become trapped in the wheelhouse of “If only I’d have.”  It’s no longer “what I’m going to do,” it’s “what I wish I’d done.”  We surrender what we want in the future for what we can have in the moment.  We give up the long-term GREAT to get the short-term GOOD. 

            Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying anything derogatory about anyone’s position or career in life.  I’m talking about individual choices and decisions.  What may make one fish happy may not make another happy.  Perhaps that Grouper in the wheelhouse is just as satisfied and content as he can be.  Maybe all the other Grouper are envious of his easy existence.  But I think somewhere in the very back of his little Grouper brain, that big fish wishes he could swim free, out among the depths and currents with other free fish. 

            I for one will choose to stay out of the wheelhouses of comfort.  I prefer to take my chances among the predators and currents of the open sea. 

            And I hope you do too.

There is always a lot of talk around the New Year's celebration about resolutions and things people are going to change in the year to come.  I find this a bit curious, however, in the absence of a scoreboard to reflect the performance for the year that is passing. 

A habit that is becoming a tradition for me is to take a moment at the end of each year and write out a list of all major accomplishments, events, and outstanding moments from that year.  This has proven to be both enlightening and rewarding.  It lets me see that in some cases and certain areas, I am not accomplishing nearly as much as I might have thought, while in others I am perhaps doing better than I might have imagined.  Without taking stock of these things specifically, however, we only have a fuzzy feeling for what we've accomplished in the previous year.  Pessimists will be likely, in the absence of such data, to assume the worst and think that they haven't done much at all.  While the confident types will be a little self-deceived and think they've done better than they actually have. 

As the saying goes, In God We Trust, all others must bring data.  I guess it only makes sense to include ourselves in "all others."  Shouldn't we take stock and produce data on our own performance?  If not, how can we make accurate assessments of where we are and what changes need to be made?  It is the difference between living approximately or living accurately.  Remember, it is easy to become self-deceived, we must fight the tendency with facts.

For instance, as I look at my "year in review," I see that I could still find a way to read more, write more, and hit several other key areas for myself.  In some categories, like lawsuits, for instance, I am overachieving :)  In physical fitness, I have had a year of advancement.  Knowing where I was a year ago helps me see that I have, in fact, improved in this category.  However, I can readily identify areas of health and physical fitness in which I would like to push harder.

These are just some examples from my year.  Obviously, there are many more.  We can and should all do this in other categories, as well.  Finance, Friends, Family, Business, Career, Spiritual, Biblical study, etc. are all areas that should be considered.  Just how many books did we read?  How many uplifting, educational CDs did we listen to?  How many leadership development meetings did we attend?  How much money did we give to charities?  Which ones?  How much time did we spend with family and friends?  How many specific steps did we take to express love and encouragement to others?

This may all seem a bit much, but I assure you, it only takes an hour or so to look back through calendars and records and benefit from this process.  And as with most of these types of things, it turns out to be a bit of fun, too.  But as I stated, the value of doing this keeps us from operating on assumptions and puts real, actual data at our finger tips.  Now, I ask you: What could be better for a leader looking to improve his or her life than accurate data from which to make new resolutions?

Happy New Year to everyone out there!

May 2008 be a year for your record books!   

The title of this post is one of my favorite movie lines.  Partly because it is funny, and partly because it is true.

Raising three sons keeps me in constant mindfulness of the need to be tough.  As boys grow to men, there are myriad lessons to learn about life and how to handle it.  Not that I am an expert, after all, I’m the guy that chickened out from the top of the high-dive in elementary school in front of all the girls, so I certainly have no corner on the market on toughness or bravada.  But I have learned a lesson or two that I desperately hope to successfully pass along to my offspring.  One of these is the lesson of toughness.  Orrin Woodward likes to quote the phrase, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."  It is a simple, but ever-so important reminder.  But notice that it only works on the assumption that "the tough" are "tough."  What if they aren’t?

Life isn’t fair.  Perhaps that’s the starting point for my boys.  There won’t always be a referee or life-guard on duty.  There won’t always be someone (in the human sense) watching out for you.  Things don’t always go your way, and no, there are no free lunches, either.  One thing I can still remember my own father telling me many, many years ago is, "No matter how good you get at something, or how much you accomplish, there will always be someone better than you.  Be ready for it."  Valuable advice.  Competition out there is stiff.  Evil is real.  Health is fleeting.  People will hurt your feelings.  The list goes on.  That’s life.  Get used to it.

Is that enough tough talk?  Perhaps.  And certainly we’ve spent a lot of time on this blog discussing the nicer, "softer," more sensitive aspects of life.  But without an understanding that success and greatness and achievement and significance do not come without toughness, sensitivity to the lighter side and the softer stuff is not as valuable.  We need both.  Rest assured, there will be a time, or many times, when you will have to be tough.  That’s just the way it is.  Prepare for it, resist the temptation to baby yourself, and stiffen your spine.  Besides, it’s worth it.  The world loves heroes.

Please don’t get me wrong.  By being tough, I do NOT mean being a bully, being mean, or being cold hearted or mean-spirited.  These are not tough, they are the imposters of true toughness.  Being tough does not take away from being loving, understanding or compassionate.  As Rocky said in the latest sequel Rocky Balboa, "In life, it’s not how hard you can hit, that counts.  It’s how hard you can get hit, and still be able get back up and move forward (slightly paraphrased)."  Toughness is not about hitting, it’s about taking shots and staying the course anyway.  It’s about responding to life’s turmoils properly.  It’s about enduring.  It’s about attitude.  It’s about perseverence and resolution.      

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. 

You’ll still have to be tough, even if you aren’t dumb!!!!!!

Generosity is a little discussed concept these days, and I dare say it should be included in the pantheon of leadership principles.  In a world riddled with selfishness, "me-first" mentality, and "every-man-for-himself" behavior, it certainly is refreshing to run across people who have a generous spirit.

Pastor Robert L. Dickie is one of the most generous men with whom I have ever had the privilege of associating.  His sweet spirit and others-first focus is refreshing, inspiring, and a great example for any budding leader to follow.  It seems that every time I am with him, I feel lifted, encouraged, and valued.  He is always first to inquire about me, my family, our health, and our general well-being.  He is quick to ask about people who need help and prayer, and he is very slow to talk about himself or complain about anything.

Why is it that generosity is in such short supply today?  Shouldn’t it follow that when we talk about servant leadership, generosity should automatically be included?  But I have noticed that many mistake "serving others" for "serving themselves."  What do I mean?  I believe it is very easy, as in so many aspects of leadership, to become self-deceived.  We may think we are serving others as we should, but if we find we are doing it for motives which are designed to serve ourselves, the serving cannot be labelled as generosity.  It may be calculated sharing, but it is calculated nonetheless. 

Generosity knows no calculation.  It knows nothing about "self."  It is the gracious outpouring of the heart that results in material aid, spiritual assitance, caring, and love freely given to someone else who is in no position to repay the favor in any way.  True generosity is the hallmark of a mature leader’s heart. 

I believe that we can get far on the leadership journey by serving others in ways that also serve ourselves.  In and of itself, there is nothing wrong with this approach, as far as it goes.  Win-win relationships are absolutely fine, and preferred to win-lose or lose-win, and certainly to lose-lose.  But I also believe that we will not maximize our potential, and our impact on others, until we strive to develop our generosity.  Great leaders do not rise to greatness alone.  They have been helped, inspired, guided, and gifted to achieve what they have achieved.  In the spirit of thankfulness, great leaders become generous as they realize the full extent of the measure of their blessings and the role others have played in their lives.  And this generosity is measured by their giving.

I was struck recently when reading a biography of a famous industrial giant from the nineteenth century.  While he was generous in his dealings and negotiations with fellow businessmen, and he was apparently often concerned to make sure his business partners prospered in their affairs with him (the embodiment of win-win), in his personal giving and generosity he was no better than a scrooge.  On millions of dollars of income, he had donated less than a few hundred dollars to worthy causes, including churches and charities.  No matter what else he accomplished in his life, I felt that this one fact alone tarnished his legacy.

Others give very publically.  In some ways, this unsettles me, too.  When every dollar given must be accompanied with the donor’s name emblazened across the building (for example), it seems that, as the Bible says, "They already have their reward" (meaning here on earth). 

What if we as leaders could develop our generosity?  What if we grew our heart for others?  What if we, as Pastor Dickie in my example above always says, could "die to self" and learn to serve others without calculating how it might also serve our interests?  Do you think the world would be a better place?  Do you think we might make a bigger difference in the world, in Christ’s name (instead of our own)?  Do you think it might mean more for our individual legacies (even if it remained anonymous among men, and remained solely between God and ourselves)? 

I like thinking these thoughts.  I like thinking about the difference we could all make.  And I like thinking that each of us can hold ourselves accountable to grow in this area and truly become generous, avoiding the pitfall that appears to have ensnared the industrialist I mentioned above.  People may forget our leadership, they may forget our achievements, but I doubt they will ever forget our generosity!