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Victor Frankl, survivor of a Nazi concentration camp, who saw everything and nearly everyone in his life taken from him and destroyed, lived to teach the world from his experience.  One of my favorite Victor Frankl quotes comes from his book Man's Search for Meaning:

"Man's main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain, but rather to see a meaning in his life.  That is why man is even ready to suffer, on the condition, to be sure, that his suffering has meaning."

The reason this is so powerful to me is that most people I meet never seem to be "happy" because "happy" is exactly what they are chasing.  And as I said in an earlier post, happiness can never be captured by direct approach.  Happiness, rather, is the result of living the life God called us to live, fully utilizing His gifts for the purpose in which they were intended.  This always involves serving others, by the way, and only minimally may involve pleasure, although it always involves joy. 

People in our society have two points of confusion here.  First, they have believed a little too strongly in Thomas Jefferson's wording in the Declaration of Independence where he talks about the "Pursuit of Happiness."  (This phrase is certainly better than what else was considered to go into the document in its place, namely: "The ownership of property.") Pursuing happiness is an empty endeavor. That is the first point of confusion.  The more one tries to pursue happiness, the more it escapes and eludes them.  Why?  Because of the second point of confusion, which involves people thinking that pleasure brings happiness.  Pleasure does not bring happiness, but only the increasing hunger for more pleasure.  It is an endless spiral of self-serving consumption.

Now don't get me wrong.  I am not against having some fun and seeking some pleasure.  My photo gallery on this blog is full of such moments.  However, neither I, Orrin Woodward, nor any of the other top leaders with whom I am blessed to be affiliated, spend nearly as much time "playing" or "seeking pleasure" as people seem to think.  I have boats I use occasionally, a plane I fly when I get the chance, dune buggies and other such toys, too, that are dusty most of the time.  Most of these are slightly used unless in the entertainment and dream-building of other people.  For the most part, the great leaders in my life invest their time in something a lot higher than the pursuit of pleasure.

And that brings us back to Frankl's quote.  Paraphrasing: the main concern is not the pursuit of pleasure or avoidance of pain, but the yearning to see meaning in life, even to the point where suffering is found to be an acceptable cost in the name of purpose.  Another Frankl quote goes like this, "In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning."

Why is all of this important? Because this principle of making one's life about purpose rather than pleasure in the hunt for happiness is the key to the beginning of leadership.  In the last post, we discussed how leadership was an inside job and relied upon the inner spark of a leader.  It is not something that can be imposed from without, it is something that must be nurtured from within.  Where does this come from?

Purpose!

Having trouble "gutting up" and leading?  Keep getting distracted with the shiny objects on the side of life's road?  Finding it hard to motivate yourself?  Having trouble getting yourself to do what you know you should do?  Making excuses for you lack of performance?  Blaming others because they aren't meeting your needs?

These are all signs that you are not in touch with your purpose. 

To quote author Dan Castro, "Happiness, therefore, does not come from the elimination of pain, but from the realization of purpose."

Want to be happy?

Want real pleasure?

Get in touch with God's purpose for your life.  Remember: you don't determine your purpose, you discover it.  Arriving at your purpose in life is a bit of an archeology project; it's something that is carefully unearthed one stone at a time.  But it's there, deep inside, waiting to be found.  Dig carefully and find it.  And you will not only make a difference in this world with the gifts God has given you, but you just might find some real happiness along the way!

And stop waiting.  You don't have forever.

"I need someone to make me do what I know I need to do," said one, "I need someone to motivate me," said another, "I could do more if you would just hold me accountable like a boss," said still another.  These and other comments by the hundreds of this nature I have heard in my years of working with and trying to develop other leaders.  These statements, although all well-intended and hopeful, are way off the mark.

Leadership is an inside job.  If someone from the outside is required to push you, or to motivate you, or to manage you like a boss does an employee, in order for you to perform as a leader, then you probably need to get out the Launching a Leadership Revolution book and read it all over again.  Leaders are not pushed from without, they are driven from within.

One of the precepts of the book is that leadership begins and ends with Hunger.  If a person isn’t hungry deep inside for achievement, for changing something about their world, for making something better, for winning or advancing, then they are not a leader at all.  Don’t get me wrong.  People can still be productive, honorable, and valuable outside of the realm of hunger, but they should never be called a leader, no matter what their official title or position.

What happens inside of people that makes them decide to take personal responsibility for leading?  What is it that makes up the substance of leadership?  This is not an easy question to answer.  Thousands of books, including ours, makes the attempt.  But no matter how much it is studied, or how much it is written about, leadership will always have an elusive quality to it.  That’s because it is part art, and not all science.  It is wrapped up in the very identity of the leader.  But it’s spark has everything to do with hunger.  How it is manifested is largely art, but how it begins is through the courage of conviction that becomes a hunger.

I have nothing but the highest respect for the people who choose to push, strive, grow, and advance when times get tough or confusing.  It’s when people are left more to their own in the turmoil of the storm that you find out the level of their leadership abilities.  Tough times reveal tough leaders, and conversely, they expose imposters.

Don’t ask your mentor to motivate you.  Don’t ask to have your hand held.  Don’t ask to be coddled.  Such is not the territory of a leader.  Ask for a challenge.  Ask for danger.  Ask for something that causes your heart to beat faster and your palms to sweat.  Ask for a test of your courage, your character, and your staying power.  Ask for that, and I’ll know you have the infant spark of hunger that starts all leaders.  Finish the journey through thick and thin and I’ll know you ARE a leader.  Help others to do the same, and I’ll know that you are among the rarest of leaders. 

Or, you can make excuses and blame your spouse.  You can say the challenge was too hard, or that conditions weren’t right.  You can say timing wasn’t good, or blame someone else for your circumstances.  You can say you were busy, or tired.  You can blame confusion and lack of information.  You can blame your mentor, or even the President.  Bosses make good scapegoats, too.  You can blame your health or your age or your birth.  Hide behind your color or your gender or your past.  You could also blame your parents.  You could claim offense and say someone hurt your feelings.  You could blame your finances, too.

But leaders never fix blame, they just fix problems.  Leaders never make excuses, they make progress.  Leaders never hide behind circumstances, they throw themselves in the way of danger.  Leaders don’t cower at the dock when the sea kicks up, they head out on the open ocean with all sails a-flyin’.  Oh yes, it’s a rare person that musters the courage to lead.  It’s a tough individual that answers the call of courage.  And there is nothing that says that it can’t be YOU. 

Lead on!  And be prepared to do most of it yourself.

"Whenever you purpose to consult with anyone about your affairs, first observe how he has managed his own; for he who has shown poor judgment in conducting his own business will never give wise counsel about the business of others."  – Isocrates, letter to Demonicus

It is curious to me how quickly people are to proffer advice, even when they have no fruit on the tree.  Many would-be "counselors" would do well to demonstrate success before feigning to be able to advise others. 

Conversely, it amazes me at times to see people neglect, disregard, or even flat-out refuse to ask for advice or help from those who have obviously succeeded in a category far in excess of themselves.  The best way to make it through a minefield is to follow in the footsteps of one who has successfully gone through ahead of you.  Sure, we are all free to venture out on our own, but we can only be blown up so many times.  The short cut is to follow success.  In this, I don’t mean blind loyalty.  Rather, I mean heeding the advice, and attempting to learn the mindset, world-view, and perspective of those that have succeeded in an area in which we would also like to succeed. 

Because of this, the greatest leaders are those that are also able to follow and ask for help.  As Orrin Woodward says, "If you are too big to follow you are too small to lead." But I see so many people that will take advice for a time, that will listen for a season, but then venture off course and start heading right back into the bushes again.  Why is this?  I wish I knew.  But what I DO know is that there is a tremendous difference in results between those who continually seek perspective and counsel, and those who drift off by simply "taking their own counsel."

Be smart enough to counsel with those seasoned by experience.  Be humble enough to ask.  Be a big enough leader to find someone you can also follow, even while others are following you.  As the Bible says, there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors.  At the same time, however, never leave go of your own senses.  Never follow blindly.  Never disengage your own brain and thinking.  Proper mentorship should encourage the protege to think even more and even better than he or she did before.  One doesn’t seek advice and counsel to learn what to think, but rather how to think.  When we learn how to think, when we learn the process of exercising our gray matter, we can think our own thoughts in a much higher way.  We will then be utilizing the experience and thoughts of others to elevate our own.

Perhaps you, dear reader, ought to think on this. 🙂